Breaking through the darkness

So we have officially met the halfway point in our 10 day waiting period and it gives a hope for the week ahead. This week has been refreshing yet heart wrenching in the same moments. We have been blessed to spend time with Ayla Marina and her precious groupa but are broken to think that many if not most of these children will never have the chance at a real family. As we hold our daughter I see the envy of the other children well in their eyes wishing they had a Mama and Papa to hold them. There is a definite peace in knowing that our daughter finally has a home and that the sense of loneliness will prayerfully cease.

The past few days we have gone to see Ayla Marina around 2 o'clock, which is usually the time they get back from their school and are working on homework. It thrills our heart to know each new day brings us closer to the day we take our girl home. Tuesday we spent some time with her and her groupa, then Kate had to come back and fly home to take care of Chandler and get back to work. So around 8 pm our taxi driver Kolya, who does not speak english, picked Kate up and drove her about an hour and a half to Dnipropetrovsk and got her on an over night train to Kiev. Restless, stressed, and worrisome could all be attributed to how I felt that night since Kate had no phone and no way to get in touch with me to tell me she made it safely. Needless to say I slept about 3 hours the whole night but then called Kostya around 7 am and Kate answered, praise the Lord. About the time I was talking to Kate, Luba texted me and told me she made it to the train, some information I could have used the night before to ease my mind. She went to the US Embassy to hand in some paperwork then enjoyed the great food that Kiev had to offer. Kate fly's out today at 12:55pm and arrives in Shreveport around 10:30 pm.

So the next few (16) days will be just me and my daughter, Kostya asked do we think she will do okay with just me cause some girls are intimidated by men, that might be true for most cases but Marina is a daddy's girl and loves to be held in my arms at almost all times, so we think she's good. I went to the orphanage around 1pm on Wednesday and spent most of the day helping her with her homework, when she finished we walked outside, I picked her up and just told her, "Soon you won't have to study anymore Ukrainian," she smiled and said, "Yes," but then I said, "Soon you will have to study in America," she quickly made an Ugh face. She is such a beautiful and precious little girl, to think that this girl has yet to have a father and to have her embrace me in such a short time is beyond me. At the end of the 10 days (Monday) we will have them legalize a new birth certificate, submit her passports in Dnipropetrovsk and once that's completed (3-5 days), we will head to Kiev to meet with the Embassy to get her Visa and Medical Diagnosis. Then it is home sweet home!

A little background: Marina was born Aug 18, 2001, and because her mother was legally single never wrote the name of the true father. For most of her life she has been taken care of by other family members, her mother had a little boy when Marina was about 5 years old but he was already adopted by a Ukrainian Couple. So for the past 2 years she has been raised by the orphanage since her mothers rights were terminated by the state due to excessive alcohol abuse. The moment I saw the light break through the darkness was when we were in court and the Judge asked if anyone from the family objects this adoption, and the director just stated, "Her mother has never came by the orphanage since she has been there." My heart just sank as I saw a small tear well up in my daughter's eye, to think that her birth mother couldn't walk across town to see, to hold, to kiss, to hug this amazing little girl was beyond me. But then the judge ruled that she is our daughter, and a smile stretched across her face. It was at that moment that I knew the enemy had lost because true her birth mother skipped out on an amazing blessing but her real mother and father were not going to let those moments pass. I pray our daughter will know how much we love her, that before we ever knew her we did everything we could to come and get her. Risking doubters, nay-sayers, financial burdens, and flat resistance we pushed through those peoples darkness and saw her glowing face that first day and just as much as we knew Chandler was our child when we saw her, Marina had the same feeling. We will never stop hugging her, kissing her, loving her, and as long as I physically can pick her up, I will. We are so blessed to have found our daughter and there is no question in our minds that she is truly ours. As of now our family is almost complete, we just have to get our girl home and then as she holds her little sister we will know that all the pain and ridicule was well worth the reward of seeing our daughter, no longer an orphan, one less trapped in the enemies snare, truly home!

Letter of Hope!

We sent Ayla Marina a letter along with some goodies once we got back to the states. We were so excited to see that she got it, and when we asked her if she read the note she just smiled. I wanted to share this note with you to know where our hearts were when we left our daughter on an overnight train, knowing we were coming back for yet she still didn't know for sure.

"Marina, I want you to know that your Papa and Mama love you very much. Our prayer for over 4 years was that God would send us to you, and now that we have found you there is nothing that will keep us away. You are so beautiful, and so smart, but your Mama and Papa need you to be strong and not lose hope. We are going to come and get you because without Marina our family can never be complete. When this whole process is over and Papa and Marina fly back to America together there will be so many people who will rejoice that you are home, including Mama and Chan Chan.  Marina you are our daughter and nothing can ever change that, when you say to us that you are Marina Williams we can't help but to smile. We miss you so much, but please trust us that no matter what it takes we will come get you. Then the Williams family can all be together forever, Papa, Mama, Marina, Chan Chan, and Elliot. Your Papa and Mama love you so much and you never need to doubt that, just a few more days so don't give up."


The best part about this letter is that we were able to show her our love more than say it. We are so blessed to have such an amazing family and we pray that Ayla Marina and Chandler Grace both experience the love and hope in Christ that their Mama and Papa have. We pray that they too will take up the call to take care of the orphans of the world, and that they can experience the same joy we have in being their parents.

Hold onto the hope of a better day!

I am about to do something that Kate and I have both longed for years to do, we want to introduce to you our daughter, Ayla Marina Williams.

At around 1:00 p.m. we were asked what we wanted from the Nikopol Court, Kate and I both responded without hesitation yet almost in tears, "To allow Marina to be our daughter." The Judge and Jurors walked out to deliberate, and in about 5 minutes came back into the court room and declared us as the rightful parents of beautiful 9 year old girl. The Judge was extremely kind and was very sensitive to Marina's circumstance. When it was all over you could see the sheer joy in her face as she told the Judge as he was leaving, "My name is Marina Williams." He just smiled and told us congratulations as he walked away and all we could do in that moment was thank him for blessing us with the desire of our heart. 

I will blog more later about how the day unfolded but wanted to show you all the face of our daughter! We still have a 10 day waiting period until the paperwork is official and we can begin the process of bringing her home. Interesting side note, I said her full name and immediately she perked up when I said Ayla. She asked Luba if that was also her name, and she told her yes.  It was at that point that Marina said, "I have been Marina for 9 years, I'm tired of Marina, I love the name Ayla, so from now on I want to be called Ayla!" Wow, how does a child go from being one person for so many years and immediately embrace her new status as a part her new and legal family.

My friends this is the Gospel. When we receive salvation that comes alone from Christ, we are given a new name, new family, new hope, new home, and a new Father. So many of us cling to the life that we once lived but what God desires is for us to no longer embrace that old life and take upon ourselves the name that is above all names. 

Lord, we thank you so much for our precious daughter Ayla Marina Williams, we know the process has been tiring and at times we questioned you, but Lord you are sovereign and you have orchestrated this whole process from start to finish. May we all embrace the hope that comes through your Son Jesus Christ, that you were willing to sacrifice so that we may be Adopted as your sons and daughters. Thank you Father! May all the glory, honor, and praise be unto your name forever. 

Another Day in Ukraine

It was so good to hug M today. We had a pretty uneventful flight. We arrived in Kiev around 5 p.m. on Wednesday. Kostya picked us up and we stopped to get something to eat. Then it was off to the train depot to wait for our night train to her region. The train left at 11 p.m. and we shared the compartment with an older lady. We arrived in the region at 6 a.m. and took a taxi two hours to her town.

Thinking that our court date would be today (silly us), we immediately went to the apartment to shower and get dressed. Luba went to the inspector’s office to see when court would be. Unfortunately, they said maybe tomorrow. While Luba was there she ran into the director of the orphanage who was a little upset that we weren’t staying at her sister’s place, and she also wanted high donation for the orphanage. She threaten to tell the judge that we are not fit to be parents and didn’t even want to spend time with her, of course leaving out the fact that we called her everyday that we were gone and sent her a package and letter. In her defense, when the government only gives you a small amount per child, and they have no corporate sponsors, she needs money from somewhere. It’s not that we don’t want to give her money, it’s just we don’t want to give it to her before the court; she can always go back on her word.

We are adopting from the hardest region in Ukraine and our court visit will not be merely a formality, it will be a little more intense. The Judge will ask M questions on why she wants to be adopted and particularly why she wants us to be her parents. We anticipate the Judge and Prosecutor asking Casey and I questions about family and why we want to adopt M among many others. We desperately want M to be our legal daughter as soon as possible and are ready to have both our children in the same country!

As soon as we found out we weren’t having court today, we hurried and got dressed to go to visit her. I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled we were to hold her! When we arrived she was in dance class. A young girl took us to her class and M ran up to me and gave me a big hug and then ran to Casey. All the other children in her group were happy to see us as well and eager to show off their dances. These dances were more like Ukrainian folk type dances and some had a little Latin flare. While dancing M continued to look over at us to see if we were watching her. In between every song M would come and give one of us a hug.

After dance it was homework time and she showed us her princess coloring book and gifts we sent her. I would not be surprised at all if these girls had low grades on homework, because homework time is very chaotic. After homework her group went to singing class. They sang a few songs, which we videoed. The last song was a song about orphans wanting a mama and being sad because they don’t have one. At the end of the second song they would point at me every time they said mama. We video taped the first song and will post it tomorrow. I am so glad I didn’t realize what the song was about, or I would have been crying. These children are so precious, it’s hard to know that most of them will never go back to their parents, and because their rights are not legally separated, they can never be adopted, and worse they don’t know they are not legally adoptable, all they know is that M is being adopted and they are not!

We brought two sizes of clothes for M to try on and she was extremely excited. They only have two pairs of clothes and they are heavily worn out, so new clothes are a big deal. We tried on the size 7-8 jeans on first, which were extremely tight. I told her no and handed her the size 10-11. The 7-8 was so tight I had to help her pull them off! The size 10-11 were a little loose-fitting on her and she wanted the extremely tight jeans but that was definitely a no go for us, I can already tell her teenage years are going to be fun! I am thinking that she would fit in a size 9-10 jeans, but we didn’t find any at Target. M also tried on her shirts, and loved them she wears a size medium and large. Every time she would try on an outfit she would look it over in the mirror and then go show it off to her caregiver and friends. She tried on the purple hooded Jackie and zipped it up, put the hood on and preceded to act like a rapper, she is a character!

Then we took pictures together, which we will post tomorrow and she wanted to take a picture of her “mama and papa”. I packed up all the clothes except what she will be wearing for court tomorrow. We can’t leave the clothes there because they will disappear. I said court tomorrow, and she said “da/yes”, and walked up to her caregiver saying “tomorrow I official M… Williams”! I don’t know if she understands that she will have to stay in the orphanage another ten days after she is legally a Williams, but that would have been too confusing to try to explain without a translator. She told us she is very happy.

I can’t begin to express to you how much we love this little girl and absolutely hate all the US and Ukraine red tape we have gone through, but it is worth everything. At the end of the day, we know that our God is bigger than any government and so we trust in him and just have to be patient. We are praying fervently for the Director, Judge and Prosecutor that their hearts will be soften and they will declare us her parents tomorrow. Also we are praying that the prosecutor will be respectful and kind when talking with M and that M remains strong.

An emotional roller coaster

Around 11:30 this morning I recieved an email from Kostya saying that we needed to be ready for court by Thursday so we should try to be in M's region by Thursday. I immediately thought there wasn't anyway since the trip literally takes about 18 hours to fly, then a 10 hour train ride to Dnipropertrovsk, then a 2 hour car ride to M's city. For those of you who can do the math, that means we would need to get to her region by Thursday while overcoming the 30 hour obstacle of traveling. The Lord truly had this orchestrated long before and in the midst of our panic. We are sitting on the floor of the Shreveport Regional Airport in Gate 9 waiting to board our flight to Atlanta, then Atlanta to Amersterdam, then Amersterdam to Kiev. We will grab something to eat in Kiev then turn around a jump on an overnight Train, hop in a taxi and arrive in our daughters hometown by 9am Thursday morning. How about cutting it close! There is no doubt that God has worked his hand in guiding us through this process and is evident in this moment. Our prayer is that the Judge will see our case possibly Thursday afternoon and we can announce to the world that our daughter is no longer an orphan.

Now that the great news is out of the way let me tell you how God has placed people in our paths to make today portray His Glory. This morning I went to Trinity Methodist for the FCA breakfast for our students and recieved a phone call from Kate, a local Ukrainian high schooler who called to translate for me on the phone while talking to M. Kate did a great job talking with M and helped me ask M some questions. M said that she was excited to be adopted, that she was ready to move to America, she was excited that her room was ready, and that she loved Mama, Papa, Chan Chan, and Gato. It was so refreshing to talk to her this morning and I assured her we would talk soon, who knew it would be face to face in 36 hours. After receiving the email while at work, I finalized everything that would need to covered in my absence after booking our flight (thanks to my parents). Kate dropped her wallet in Monroe at our daycare, so I headed that way to pick up her wallet then needed to sing by Target to get some clothes for M and Luba's daughter. We were unable to get sizes off of her clothes so got two sets of outfits in two different sizes. We are so blessed to have Kate's sister available for us to keep Chandler and even moreso that she was willing to drive 5 hours to pick her up with all of Kate's family. Our faith family in Ruston has been so supportive and Ginger Walpole was willing to keep Chandler for us until Theresa arrived in Ruston. God knew exactly the community we needed to be in to the family who has adopted us as their own, and we will forever be grateful for those blessings God has poured out on us.

So please pray we make it safetly and that we will be able to announce our daughter to you as the newest member of our Family in 48 hours. Thank you all so much for the encouragement you have given us and the blessing it is to have you share this journey with us. May God be glorified and may the Hope Christ continue to move us all to fight for the faith.

Hurry up and wait

We are so ready to be back in Ukraine, with our beautiful 9 year old daughter to our side, dressed in our church clothes, having no idea what a Ukrainian Judge is saying other than a gavel falling and our daughter legally ours. We feel the consistent cycle that most adoptive families feel when the process slows the passion. We know we are getting closer but it still does not speed the process up any. Our prayer is that I get an email in the next few hours that will tell us when our court date is and we can go ahead and book our flights to reunite with our daughter for the last time.

We have talked with M almost everyday, only missing her a few times. She can say her American name at ease now and is learning new phrases constantly. We have been praying so hard for her, that she will not forget our love or devotion to her, and that though we are thousands of miles away she is still a crucial part of our family. She has been excited at times in our conversations, we have shared our heartaches through tears, and we have encouraged each other with constant "Love you, Love you's!"

It has been such a struggle, fighting off the nay-sayers, those who are not supportive, and the critical. Truth is adoption doesn't make sense for those who can't see the bigger picture. That's why there are over a billion Christians who have been adopted into God's kingdom but 143 million orphans still left alone in the world. To most people adopting is nothing more than just buying a kid, so it is no surprise to face those people because they can't see the forest because of the tree. Yes adoption is non-conventional but so was our Lord, so my prayer is that those people will catch the vision of our adoption as a God sized calling not a families personal choice. We knew the risk that adoption would involve and have been encouraged amidst resistance that this is what God desires for us and gives us understanding why so many have been critical of us. The truth is that every dollar, every tear, every sacrifice, every mile, every sleepless night, every layover, every hurtful words behind our back will be well worth it when I see the face of our daughter filled with Love and not hopelessness. I am so thankful to have so many people in our lives who have constantly encouraged us, told us they have been praying for us, poured out the spirit of hope and inspiration to us. My prayer is that all of those people who are not bought into what GOD is doing through Adoption will either come to us and allow us to share the vision of what God is and has done, or they repent of their inward focused Christianity that only affects their schedule and not their lives.

Lord may you be the light into the darkness, may you be the hope in injustice, may you be the victor! Thank you so much for your prayers and support, this fight is not over so keep praying.

Half a world away

It has been 4 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes since we last saw our precious M. Each day has been a painful reminder from when we last saw our daughter crying because the closest chance at a true family was walking away, but it is also a step closer to the day when we will reunite with her and show her more than tell her how deep our love for her truly runs. We have talked to her each day since we left and love to hear her boldly proclaim her last name as Williams and to hear her say in English, "Love you, Love you!" We pray hard that she will trust us and that the Lord will comfort her in this process. Also pray that some issues in Ukraine's Parliament will not be used by the enemy to slow our process.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers, here is the letter I wrote on the Train ride back to Kiev that we sent her along with the package full of goodies:

"M..., I want you to know that your Papa and Mama love you very much. Our prayer for over 4 years was that God would send us to you, and now that we have found you there is nothing that will keep us away. You are so beautiful, and so smart, but your Mama and Papa need you to be strong and not lose hope. We are going to come and get you because without M... our family can never be complete. When this whole process is over and Papa and M... fly back to America together there will be so many people who will rejoice that you are home, including Mama and Chan Chan.  M... you are our daughter and nothing can ever change that, when you say to us that you are M... Williams I can't help but to smile. We miss you so much, but please trust us that no matter what it takes we will come get you. Then the Williams family can all be together forever, Papa, Mama, M..., Chan Chan, and Elliot. Your Papa and Mama love you so much and you never need to doubt that, just a few more days so don't give up.

Love you, love you!"

Fight through the tears!

So today might have been the hardest part of this entire process. But let me rewind before we get to the serious stuff. Today we woke up around 9:30 am, Luba left the apartment around 7:30 to begin getting all the paperwork we needed so we could submit to the SDA on Wednesday and hopefully get a court date around the middle of next week. We heated up some borsch that Luba cooked for us for lunch then headed toward the orphanage. We arrived at the orphanage around 12:30, and as we were walking up we saw M coming back from school. You could see her looking, almost wishing it was us, then I said, “Hola!” and she came running. She jumped into my arms and gave me a big hug then gave Kate a big hug, then we gave Nashta and Olga her friends a hug, and we all walked into the orphanage together.

M told us to take a seat while they changed out of their school clothes, then she came out ready to spend some quality time with her Mama and Papa. She had to work on some homework, so we sat with her as she showed off her Hanna Montana pencil holder, her floating fish ruler, and her workbooks from school. She pulled her workbook away as if she was hiding something, and she was, she had gotten a low grade on a writing assignment and did not want us to see it. Truth is, I didn’t care because I knew she would be starting a new school soon anyway. We worked through her schoolwork with her, and then the group went to eat. As she came back we thumbed through the pictures of yesterdays photo shoot, as she shuffled through them on my iPhone she gave special attention to one picture of a little boy whose name is Nikita. She looked at her Mama and pounded her hand against her chest quickly, that’s right she said her heart races when she sees him. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to face that problem for a few more years, but it was very cute, so I picked on her the rest of the day. Then Luba showed up to get us to sign some paperwork and we went back to M. We played tic-tac-toe, some frog game, and checkers on my iPhone, in which M cheated almost every time to beat her Papa, very funny. Then it happened, the phone call that caused a beautiful day with our daughter to become heartbreak.

Kate, M, and myself went downstairs to talk with Luba, and she informed us that the only judge who can see adoption hearings in the entire city is out until the 25^th of September. My heart was just racing as I held my daughter close to my side. The more the conversation went on we knew that it was not possible for us to stay that long because of finances, work, and Chandler.  We had to make the hardest decision to leave M in her orphanage until we could come back for court, at which point she would be ours forever. I tried so hard to be the tough Dad that M needed in that moment but to think I had to leave the daughter we have prayed over 4 years for, without her truly trusting that we would come back for her was heart breaking. As I held M tightly I looked her in her beautiful green eyes and told her that Papa Casey and Mama Kate love her very very much, Luba translated for her that we could not do anything about this process, and that as soon as the judge got back we would come back for her. I was hurting so much because all I could think about was this little girl has never had a father, and the first chance for her to have a Papa was just slipping away from her. We sobbed, as we continually told her we loved her, and we were coming back for her. She just cried on our shoulders for about 30 minutes, I continually asked her what was her zavoot, and she would fight through the tears and say, M… Williams, we would ask her what was our names, again through the tears would say Mama and Papa. It must be so hard for her to understand that paperwork and problems are stopping her from being apart of our family. Kate measured her and told her we were going to be getting her new clothes, and we are already getting her room ready for her. We walked upstairs as she began sobbing some more and I sat down as she crawled up in her Papas lap. After felling the weight of a little girls’ heartaches on my soul, Kate showed her on the calendar when we would be back. We looked through the picture book we gave her and asked her who was in the pictures, she replied, “My Mama, My Papa, My sister, my house, my room, my school, my cat.” I know this is hard for her, as it is for us, but I am reminded of our Saviors promise in John 14:13 when he tells his disciples that he is going to prepare a place for us, and that he is coming back for us. I pray that M knows that her Papa and Mama are going to prepare a home for her, and we WILL come back for her. We walked outside, threw the Frisbee a little to lighten the mood, then had to say our goodbyes. She would just hold Kate as Luba talked to her and assured her that she was our daughter, we were her parents, and this whole process would be over before she knows it. She promised she would still love us when we came back, then held her Mama very tight. Luba said she has never seen such a connection between prospective parents and a child, she told that to M… and she just said she doesn’t want us to ever leave and she loved us from our first meeting. She walked to me as I hugged her and told her Papa lublu M.. and we would see her soon, no more tears. She started crying, I started crying, and just picked her up and wrapped her up in the arms of her broken hearted Papa. As we walked away you could hear her crying, I wanted so desperately to run back to her but I knew we had to go. As we walked the emotions were so tense, but the hope of that little girl having a family, and to know that she would soon be no longer an orphan was a joy to our soul. I told Kate the hardest part for me was that this precious child has never known a fathers love before and now has to see it walk away, it must be so hard, but I pray she has seen her fathers heart for her.

In the midst of such heartache, there is much to rejoice in, we have found our daughter, our daughter has fallen in love with the parents who loved her for years, the paperwork is all done and ready for SDA, and the only thing stopping this girl from being an official part of the Williams family is one court date. Please pray that she will be comforted by the spirit that her parents love her and are coming back for her. Pray that she will be strong through these next 3 weeks and her friends will support her. We told her we would call a couple of times through the next few weeks so we hope that will comfort her. Luba saw her crying in the arms of one of her relatives while she waited for the inspectors conclusion, and he told M… you don’t need to cry anymore, they told you that they were going to adopt you so trust them. We praise God for allowing such a tight bond and pray that we will have a speedy court date and a smooth process.

Happy Birthday to me!

Today I had the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER, the only thing that could have made today even better is if Chandler would have been with us. I miss our little girl so much! We walked to the orphanage this morning and when we arrived M... ran and gave me a huge hug and then gave a hug to Casey. Casey looked at her and said Mama's birthday.. It took her a few minutes to relize what he was saying but then she gave me a big hug again and ran me upstairs to give me a bracelet she made me, best gift yet. While we were walking around she started singing "happy birthday to me" surprisingly in english! I felt very loved.

When we arrived we walked outside for a little while just talking with M, as we walked around to her groupas garden we wanted to take some pictures. So M jumped up on Casey's lap for a precious photo opp, then Casey handed her the camera and taught her how to take pictures. She wanted a picture of Mama and Papa, so she took a picture of us together. Casey then told her to take pictures of whatever she wanted and so the journey began. We walked all around the orphanage, up to her room, into her bathroom, then finally she looked out of her groups window and saw her friend Anna skating. So we all went downstairs and she quickly switched her little red shoes with Annas skates, but not before she could tell us Annas feet stunk (which they did). We pulled M around the orphanage at least 5 times, all while she held our hands and carried on conversation with us and Anna. We've established that there are not many words that end with an -er ending in russian so M is having problems saying her little sisters name, Chandler, so Casey gave her the right to call her Chan Chan. One of the best parts of this whole trip was when she said, "Before I was M... L... but now

that Mama and Papa have come I am M... Williams!" Amazing! After lap 5, we stopped near the younger children who were playing outside, and spent time with all of them before M had a wonderful idea. "Papa!" She exclaimed and pointed where to stand, Anna would pull M about 20 yards away then turn her around and sling her toward her Papa. yelling at him to catch her, and he would, time after time. Then Casey said, "uno mas, y Mama," thats right he wanted me to catch her, she looked very cautious pointing at her muscles saying Papa strong, Mama nyet. But he assured her I could catch her, and I did, once! It was so much fun seeing all this little kids and how M would interact with them all, one special boy just held onto me, and if the paperwork would have allowed us he would be on the same flight that M will be on to the US with us. We walked some more then had to say goodbye, but only for a little while and assured her we would be back around 2.

We walked a little while and then ate some pizza at a local resturant, then headed back to our little girl. When we showed up her groupa was walking outside yelling to M that her Papa and Mama were here. After we went outside, we followed her group to the play yard next the school, and spent some time playing with M and all her friends. It started to rain and the volunteer took the group inside to a play area where they played some games. M took us up to her room while the other kids did homework and we colored for a while. After her groupa got done we all went outside and threw the frisbee around. M is already a little daddy's girl, anything that Casey would do M would quickly do after him. Casey would fake throw the frisbee, M would fake throw the frisbee, he would set the frisbee on the ground and dare the kids to come get it, M would throw it on the ground and issue the challenge. It is pretty amazing and you can physically see her just wrapping her Papa around her little finger. Like we said she is a very smart girl. We had to leave but not before hugging her neck, then when I hugged her she said in english, "Love You." Talk about melting your heart. It is hard to walk away from her but we know these days are few before she will be ours always.

Please pray that tomorrow the inspector will clear all the documents, the orphanage director will sign off on her part, the local judge will see our case asap, and Luba can rush our documents to the SDA in Kiev. Prayerfully we will find out what our court date will be, and after that you can see her picture and stop refering to her as M.

Adoption: Living in the heart of God

Today has been a great day! We started the day off with some scrambled eggs and toast in our apartment, which we love! After breakfast we began to walk toward the orphanage, which takes about 25 minutes, Luba stopped a few times to make sure we were on the right track, and we were so we arrived around 11am. When we walked into the orphanage Luba asked the caregiver if M could come around, she went upstairs to where her groupa lives and brought M with her. As soon as M saw me she ran into my arms as I picked her up and held her, these are the moments I hope she never gets to big for, then she jumped to Kate and gave her a big hug. It's hard to see a little girl with so much love to be given up to live in an orphanage, but I am so thankful that the Lord brought us to her and now she has the undying love of her Papa and Mama.

We walked outside and went to her group's garden and talked with her as she enjoyed some chochalate we brought with us. We sat down on the staircase and asked her if she was excited about being apart of our family, and with a huge smile that I will never forget said yes. We have to get her new name settled so we asked her if she like Ayla M.. Williams? She smiled and said yes, I think it is so amazing for a child to feel so at at ease with what most people would think were strangers now giving her a new name, but the Lord has given her a peace and I am sure has assured her that we are her Papa and Mama, and not strangers. We have missed out on so much of M's life that we want to know everything about her: her favorite color is pink and green, her favorite food is spaghetti and pizza, her favorite animals are cats and ponies. We are absolutely in love with this girl and know it is because we overflow with the love that God has given us.

We had to go so M could eat with her groupa, so we assured her we would be back around 2pm and gave her a big hug before we left. We stopped in a little store and bought Kate some shoes, because Toms are not wet street friendly, a coke and a Fanta and we were almost home. After arriving back to our apartment, I called Luba to assure her we made it without any problems, she has been working on getting copies and going over our paperwork all day, trying to stay ahead of the game. Kate took a very short nap while I caught up on some emails, then it was back to see my little girl. When we arrived M came outside and we sat and talked for just a little bit before we decided to go upstairs to draw. She pulled out the ABC's coloring book we bought her and she already had worked on half of it. We went page by page working through the alphabet and the pictures that went along with each letter. She began to show us her skills and without hesitation: Airplane, Boat, Clown, Hippopotamus. She is so smart and is trying so hard to learn her soon to be common language. We wrote her name in the book and she wanted Papa and Mama to write our names. Casey, which in russian looks like "keci," and Kate, which in russian looks like "kat," were written in pink crayon then M grabbed the crayon drew a line from my name and wrote Papa, then wrote Mama next to the line she drew for Kate. I drew a picture on the front cover of the book that was stick figures with our names under each, Papa, Mama, M, and Chandler, she grabbed the crayon then drew a small figure and wrote gato, how could I have forgotten our cat Elliot. After working through each name I wrote, Williams Family, she said, "yes, M Williams."  The funniest part was when she wrote 1 over Papa, then a 1 over Mama, M, and Chandler, thats right friends M knows I am outnumbered already, but she has no clue how much Love this Papa has to give to all three of his girls. The way she prided herself in her new family was amazing, I pray that each one of us can pride ourselves in the family we have been adopted into, God's family, like she is in ours.

We wanted to know how to decorate her room, so after showing her a picture of her new house and her own room, we asked her what color does she want her room to be. She snagged up all 24 crayons, walked us into her bedroom of 12 beds, put the crayons on the bed and preceded to play a russian version of, "eni, meni, miny, mo," eliminating each color. After she ended up with 3 colors she really didn't like she would grab pink and put it back in the mix, hilarious, then ending up with three colors. She grabbed Milly her stuffed cat and proceeded to ask her what she thought. Milly then played the same game ending up with pink, so cute. While we were sitting there her caregiver and M's groupa came into our room and began asking us about ourselves, after playing verbal barrier ping pong, Kate grabbed our photo album and I began to walk her through it. She smiled and was beginning to understand more about who we were. We showed her our house, the school M will be going to and told her it had about 300 students, the church I work at and told her I teach the bible to 70+ teenagers, and then M's new sister Chandler. Her caregiver hopped on M's bed made like a scale and started laughing, I KNOW already I am outnumbered, haha, but I assured her elliot was a boy so I had one cat on my side. We all went outside but not before M could take her crayon and tell her friends that her bed was going to be pink. So Proud!

The girls sang us a song that cheered on Spain in Africa and then we all started throwing the frisbee in a big circle, about 10 of us. After spending 2 hours at the orphanage we had to go, but not before we could hug our sweet daughter. As we left the orphanage, we reminded M we would be back tomorrow, I picked her up and just said, "lublu," which simply means love, and she quickly says it back everytime. We walked away and my heart began to sink, all I could think about was that amazing girl has lived years without a truly loving Mama because alcohol was more important, and has never known the love of a Papa because her mother was single when she had M. Kate and I walked and talked about all the kids there, how sad it was that parents could leave there kids in an orphanage while they lived their own lives, completely free while there child lies in bed at night surrounded by 9 other children, with no chance to be adopted because the parents visit once a year. I told kate that I can not begin to understand how a child so amazing and so kind could never be held and hugged and loved on by her parents for so many years. I plan on taking every moment I can to re-assure M, Chandler, Kate, and however many more children God blesses me with that I desperately love them and would fly to any distance, pay any price, and lay my own life down so they may know how much I truly love them.

Oh God, I am so sorry for taking for granted your Love. You were willing to lay your Son on the cross, pay him the punishment for my sins, just so I may have a life that is forgiven and free. I thank you for showing me what true Love is, and may I show all people the gospel love you have given me.

A special treat!

Good Morning Ukraine, Good night US. I wanted you to enjoy a little bit of our daughter singing yesterday. I promised her that if she sang I would, so she sang this song about Papa-Mama-and Baby, I sang Amazing Grace and the people in the office and M said Bravo. We hope to go see her in about 30 minutes, so enjoy this little part of our daughter.

When we saw her face!!

Last night we jumped on an overnight train and arrived around 7:30am at our destination. Then Luba arranged for a driver to pick us up and drive us about 135km (70m) to the orphanage where the director was already waiting for us to meet with her and the child. The whole way in the car I was just praying that the Lord would give us peace, that no matter the outcome we would trust him, that the child would immediately connect, and that the director would approve. My heart was just sinking already and no less than a mile away from the city we saw a man who was killed in a motorcycle accident laying in the street. I prayed that the Lord would be with his family and that this feeling of weight would go away.

We made it to the orphanage after driving around the city for a while and finally pulled into a fairly large complex with separate sections that all attached centrally. We pulled in and immediately I felt a peace over the place, as we walked in and turned to the right we sat at the waiting area for the director to come back. After 4-5 minutes she came in, a very Ukrainian motherly type, who though looked very authoritative yet seemed very friendly. We sat down and she began to ask Luba about the process, after a few minutes she asked us "Why do we want to adopt?" I told her that there are so many children in this world who are in need of a home and a family to love them, that we have a beautiful daughter but know we are missing someone. She seemed pleased with my answer and began to talk about M (we will refer to her as M until she is legally ours.) She bragged about how helpful she was when asked, how she is very patient, and how she is a very good girl, she had some heart issues when she was young but she is better now. Her mothers rights were revoked by the state after she began to abuse alcohol, supposedly her family kept her from most of that and she was raised by outside family until they felt the mother wasn't going to change, that's when they put her in the orphanage about a year and a half ago. We asked about abuse or any other medical or social issues she may have and the director reiterated that she is a great child with no problems nor history of abuse.

Then it happened, this beautiful girl walked through the door, this wasn't the girl in the picture, at least so we thought, this girl had joy written in her eyes. She walked up to the doctor and gave her a big hug, the doctor patted heron the stomach and said as you can see she is healthy, I patted mine and said so am I. When she walked I said, "Hola, Como usted?" She smiled and said "Hola, bien." You see M has spent 3 different trips with a Spanish family, but they felt they were unable to pay to adopt her, though they had a great relationship with her. So we talked for a little while through Luba, I would ask her a few questions in Spanish (Gracias Senora Maqueda), and then Luba asked question. Would you want to be adopted by them and live in america, she smiled and said Da! Luba asked us the same question, and there was no doubt, this is our daughter, so we said, "Uh, Yeah!" Oh yeah her birthday was August 18 and was in Spain so did not get a present, I walked out to the car and came back with a pink cat (now sitting on her bed) and sang a short remix of the happy birthday song.

M showed us around the orphanage by herself, as we tried to converse in Spanish and broken Russian and for the most part could figure out what each other were saying, HUGE BLESSING! She took us to her room, where she and 12 other girls, "nina's." We walked all over that place, and if you threw me back there I would have no clue, but M knew the maze very well. We walked outside and she showed us around the complex, explaining that each little alcove was designated to each groupa, her groupa had some flowers that they all worked on planting and watering, she told me the little groupa wasn't allowed in their garden, very funny. After showing us her school across the street, then sharing that she is learning English at the school, we went back to the front corridor. We bought her a frisbee, so then we threw with her for a little while, she would fake throw it to Kate the whip around and throw it at me, a unaware but very slick ultimate frisbee trick. Kate said she was done and quickly M said no mas. So for all of you who thought I would get a girly girl, your wish came true. Her favorite color is pink, she does not play soccer (subject to change), she does not play basketball, she loves to sing, she loves to dance, and she loves princess stuff, oh yeah and Hannah Montana (subject to change also.) All in all she is precious, we had to leave but knew we were going to do whatever it would take to bring her home. Oh yeah she got her bible out and began to talk about Jesus, uh is this my kid or what. I can't wait for you all to meet her, but for now all you get is vague descriptions. As we walked away she closed her eyes and hugged Kate, then gave me a big hug, though she was sad I told her "hasta minana" I pray she finds peace that we will not stop fighting to make her ours.

Please pray for an expedited process, that the director and inspector are on our team, that M has a reassured peace that she is our child, and that in all this God receives all the Glory.

Leaving on a midnight train . .

Today we slept in, cooked breakfast, and managed to waste away most of the morning. The officials promised to have our paperwork completed by noon so that we could catch the 4 o'clock train. Unfortunately, the paperwork was not ready until 4 o'clock. The lady looked at my (Kate) passport and said something in Russian with a very unhappy face. She was saying I looked too young, we assured her of our age and then she allowed us to sign for our paperwork. Luba checked our paperwork to make sure everything was correct and we were off to the train station office. We will take a 11:21 pm overnight train, arrive arround 7:30 am and from there we will catch a 2 hour car ride to the town that the orphanage is in. This adoption journey is a 26 hour trip; 16 hour plan ride, 8 hour train ride and a 2 hour car ride, simply amazing!

The little girl is older then we were anticipating so we had to make a quick dash to the children's shop in the UYM department store to buy gifts and a frisbee (Casey is getting her ready for frolf). We have our hopes up to meet the girl tomorrow around noon, however if you didn't get the memo, here in Ukraine nothing goes as planned or as promised.

We are excited, anxious and nervous! Please continue to pray that the directors and inspector will allow us to meet her Friday, that the are honest, and that we will know immediately if this child is supposed to be ours.

Excited but Cautious

Yay, looks like we will be seeing more of Ukraine. We accepted a referral today of a young girl. We are excited but Very Cautious. Ukraine has been known for saying yes then in the same breath saying no. A Ukrainian couple did request this girl for foster care, and she declined them. We are not sure if she said no because she wants to be adopted or because she wants to remain in the orphanage. The Great News is she appears to come from a very good orphanage that has taken care of her. 

In Ukraine once they go into foster care they cannot be adopted in till the foster parents put them back in the orphanage and get another child. People have told us they get paid a lot of money and mostly couple's foster for the money. It is encouraging that older children can decide not to go with them, however our hearts go out to those that will not be given the chance at a secure home. 

As for now it looks like we will be taking a ten-hour train ride to the orphanage. We hope to see her Friday however; we might have to wait. On Monday we will have an appointment with the inspector, who will quiz us on our family and why we want to visit this child. If the inspector likes us then we will have an appointment with the orphanage director. The director will tell us about the child, ask us questions and if she thinks that we will make a good match for the girl then we will finally be able to meet her. 

We are a long way from being in the home stretch. In Ukraine anything can happen at any point. We will only be able to celebrate after the judge has said that she is legally ours!